Shit That Happened This Week

News from this week's divertissement happenings

So this week for me was all about worshipping my dark side. I went to see The Rock Horror Picture Show on Halloween, posted an epic short horror fiction story for you and draped myself in black on the Day of the Dead yesterday and told people I could see all their dead relatives burning in Hell.

So it was a fun week.

I know it hasn’t been so fun for a lot of you, especially those in New York, with Sandy from Greece on the rampage or something…?

Anyway, looking to the world of divertissement, here are three things that happened this week.

Star Wars Died Or Something

Darth Micky said it was the role he was born to play

Star Wars creator George Lucas sold LucasFilm to Disney this week for an estimated $4bn and has said that we can expect another Star Wars episode around 2015 with the chance of one being released every few years from then on… forever.

Now, I never really "got" Star Wars, even though I’m a science fiction fan, but this seems to have split fans of the epic story down the middle.

Someone I know said this: “They can’t do worse than George Lucas did with the recent ones. He fucked them up, really.”

So what will Disney do with it, is what everyone is wondering? Episode 7? Cartoon, big-eyed Disney Star Wars characters? Abolish black people, gay jar-jar binks and beards? Who the fuck knows… or cares.

This is what Disney said: “In 2015, we’re planning to release Star Wars Episode 7 – the first feature film under the “Disney-Lucasfilm” brand. That will be followed by Episodes 8 and 9 – and our long-term plan is to release a new Star Wars feature film every two to three years.”

Simon Cowell Is Allergic To Britney Spears

Known as Britneyitus, Cowell said the rare condition has made his face bloat

On Monday Simon Cowell seemed to have had some sort of allergic reaction to Britney Spears while on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

He looked like a sack of potatoes, which has led people to speculate that he may have been over doing it with Botox and filler injections.

When fillers make you look weird instead of younger it’s time to stop. And when Britney Spears causes you to swell like a bloated corpse it’s time to move away, ya'll.

Say what? 

It may be acceptable to look that way in LA, Mr Cowell, but not in the rest of the world. Maybe that’s why he stopped appearing on X Factor UK?

Miley Cyrus Makes Out With A Unicorn

Miley denied rumours she was cheating on Chris with this unicorn

Borgore’s new video, "Decisions", features Miley Cyrus in all her new-haired glory, rocking with porn star Jessie Andrews and shoving her tongue down a unicorn’s muzzle.

I don’t know who Borgore really is. All I know is that he likes cake and dub-step. Anyway, the unicorn mask was apaz Chris Hemsworth so it’s not like she was cheating, really. Maybe she’ll give birth to Australian pony babies?

The beats in the video are dance worthy, even if the lyrics are underwhelming and his voice is boring and he looks too normal to even be an extra in his own video, but whatever. Here it is. Miley’s brush with bestiality.