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Marketing Success: In just two years Pussy Riot will be the biggest band in the world
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Dear Pussy Riot,
You are marketing geniuses. In just two
years’ time you will have a fan-base to rival Lady Gaga’s. You’ll have book
deals, movie deals and interview deals flying towards you faster than Vladimir
Putin's henchmen at that cathedral that one time.
It was a good decision to be arrested and I
can see big things for you in the future. Already you have the backing of Paul
McCartney, Bjork and Madonna, and that’s before you’ve even become super skinny
from all your “me” time in those spa camps you’ve now been sent to separately.
Use this time to become better performers.
Don’t worry I think you’ll totes work as a
duo instead of a trio. I see bad things in the future of Yekaterina
Samutsevich, who was released
on appeal after her lawyers successfully argued that she hadn't even
managed to take her guitar out of its case before being kicked out of the
cathedral.
Lazy bitch.
I see her becoming fat and not what Pussy
Riot needs when it goes to Hollywood.
To help you through some dark times ahead,
I’ve composed this poem for you. Enjoy. I’ve called it Cunt Uprising
Pussy
Riot
Hunger
Strike
Thin
Work
out and tip your hair
Stop
dressing like boys
Be a
lesbian to survive
Hurt
Then
write songs about jail and Putin
Call
one “Putin a sock in it”
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