Shit That Happened This Week

This week was full of stuff, stuff to make you go "huh?"

Well this week was sort of blinded by what happened in The Walking Dead. It put me on a downer, so much so that I spent all of Wednesday lying on my bathroom floor in a state of shock/inebriation. In the end the neighbour below me called the police because apparently I was screaming “Lori!” but I don’t remember.

The second part of this week has been gearing up for two epic things that are going to happen next week. Firstly Lana Del Rey is releasing Born To Die, Paradise Edition. Secondly, Deftones are releasing their seventh studio album, Koi No Yokan, which is Japanese for the sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall into love. This excites me greatly. Expect reviews next week.

But firstly, there’s the whole mess of crap that was this week to sort through. This is what you missed if you too were too fucked-up by TWD to fully invest in this week.

Also, Obama won, I think.

Brad Battles The Undead

Joining the hordes of bandwagon jumpers that have clambered onto the popularity of zombies of late, which by the way I predict to be over in about five months, being replaced with a new trend of mermaid stuff (films, music, books, TV, human/fish experimentation), was Brad Pitt, whose trailer for World War Z was released this week. Check it, bitches. 

Gaga Goes Gaga For Sandy

New York made me the fierce bitch I am today, said Gaga

Lady Gaga donated $1m to the American Red Cross for Hurricane Sandy relief fund.
The singer explained that she would be giving the hefty sum to help out her hometown of New York on her Little Monsters social networking site.

“Today I pledge 1 million dollars to New York & The American Red Cross for Hurricane Sandy Relief,” she said. “If it wasn't for NYC: the Lower Eastside, Harlem, the Bronx and Brooklyn, I would not be the woman or artist that I am today.”

"New York is relentless ambition, a drive to succeed, a place where there is a natural pursuit of diversity through compassion. Please accept this gift on behalf of myself, my parents Joe and Cynthia, and my sister Natali; with our deepest gratitude New York for raising us. Thank you for helping me build my spirit. I will now help you rebuild yours."


Alan Moore Sings To Support Occupy Movement

Comic book Writer Alan more, creator of Watchmen and V For Vendetta, which spawned the famous Occupy symbol of the Guy Fawkes mask, has composed a political song in support of the Occupy movement.

The song, The Decline of English Murder, is a ballad that likens the stark economic inequities challenged by Occupy to the work of a killer. It is released by Occupation Records, the musical spin-off from the protest group, which has already collaborated with Radiohead's Thom Yorke and members of Massive Attack, among others.

It’s deep.

It’s real.

It’s emotional.

It’s a little bit The Streets.

“English murder is all over her face”

Moore, 58, is one of the most famous names in modern comics. The bulk of his titles, which include Watchmen From Hell and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, the bulk of which, have been made into Hollywood films of varying quality, many of them in turn disowned by the irascible writer.

No Doubt Pull “Offensive” Video

No Doubt - Looking Hot by jimihubabua

Whilst casually browsing for a Gwen Stefani picture to pin onto my Gwen Stefani picture of the week board in my bathroom, I came across the horrific discovery that You Tube has pulled the band's new video for their Looking Hot single.

Let me just take a second to get this straight; people have complained about the band’s cowboy and indian themed video because…? Because it was too chic? Too cool? No, because of… DUM DUM DUM (dramatic theme music)...

...RACISM

Seriously?

Now don’t get me wrong, I am against all racism, but in what fucked up, "politically correct" world does this count as racism? Firstly, Ska originated as a form of music bringing together sounds from different cultures and secondly, how on Earth could anybody take this video as any sort of accurate portrayal of history?

Lighten up, world. Aren’t there enough horrors we all have to face, without taking away Gwen in this dress?

Racist? Braids are racist, scientists have recently discovered

The band eventually had no choice but to pull their video from all official platforms, saying: “As a multi-racial band our foundation is built upon both diversity and consideration for other cultures. Our intention with our new video was never to offend, hurt or trivialize Native American people, their culture or their history.”

The statement continued: “Although we consulted with Native American friends and Native American studies experts at the University of California, we realize now that we have offended people. This is of great concern to us and we are removing the video immediately.”

“The music that inspired us when we started the band, and the community of friends, family, and fans that surrounds us was built upon respect, unity and inclusiveness. We sincerely apologize to the Native American community and anyone else offended by this video,” continued the band.

The statement concluded, “Being hurtful to anyone is simply not who we are.”

On the upside I found my Gwen Stefani picture of the week.

Anyway, this being Harsh&Repellent I’ve posted the video for you all to see and judge for yourselves. 

Read Harsh&Repellent's review of their new album Push And Shove 

Alt –J Win Mercury Prize

Experts think this poster hypnotised Mercury judges in to picking them as winner

So there you have it, the Mercury Prize shoots another obscure band from its vagina straight into the fame stratosphere.

The indie band was nominated for their album “An Awesome Wave”

I like their vibe. What I have gathered is that they’re all blokes from Leeds who like triangles.

Simon Firth, chairman of the Mercury judges hailed the album's "hypnotic quality".

"It's one of those albums that knocks you back when you hear it," he said after the winner was announced.

"It's got a certain hypnotic quality and it's melodically interesting. The way it's constructed is layered – it has digital production but it doesn't sound like a digital record. Mercury has always been about something that sounds fresh."

An Awesome Wave is the thirteenth debut album to win the Mercury prize. The last debut winner the xx, in 2010, have gone on to play packed out tours and headline major festivals.

They’ve been hailed as the next Radiohead. But Radiohead are still Radiohead, aren’t they?

Shit That Happened This Week

News from this week's divertissement happenings

So this week for me was all about worshipping my dark side. I went to see The Rock Horror Picture Show on Halloween, posted an epic short horror fiction story for you and draped myself in black on the Day of the Dead yesterday and told people I could see all their dead relatives burning in Hell.

So it was a fun week.

I know it hasn’t been so fun for a lot of you, especially those in New York, with Sandy from Greece on the rampage or something…?

Anyway, looking to the world of divertissement, here are three things that happened this week.

Star Wars Died Or Something

Darth Micky said it was the role he was born to play

Star Wars creator George Lucas sold LucasFilm to Disney this week for an estimated $4bn and has said that we can expect another Star Wars episode around 2015 with the chance of one being released every few years from then on… forever.

Now, I never really "got" Star Wars, even though I’m a science fiction fan, but this seems to have split fans of the epic story down the middle.

Someone I know said this: “They can’t do worse than George Lucas did with the recent ones. He fucked them up, really.”

So what will Disney do with it, is what everyone is wondering? Episode 7? Cartoon, big-eyed Disney Star Wars characters? Abolish black people, gay jar-jar binks and beards? Who the fuck knows… or cares.

This is what Disney said: “In 2015, we’re planning to release Star Wars Episode 7 – the first feature film under the “Disney-Lucasfilm” brand. That will be followed by Episodes 8 and 9 – and our long-term plan is to release a new Star Wars feature film every two to three years.”

Simon Cowell Is Allergic To Britney Spears

Known as Britneyitus, Cowell said the rare condition has made his face bloat

On Monday Simon Cowell seemed to have had some sort of allergic reaction to Britney Spears while on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

He looked like a sack of potatoes, which has led people to speculate that he may have been over doing it with Botox and filler injections.

When fillers make you look weird instead of younger it’s time to stop. And when Britney Spears causes you to swell like a bloated corpse it’s time to move away, ya'll.

Say what? 

It may be acceptable to look that way in LA, Mr Cowell, but not in the rest of the world. Maybe that’s why he stopped appearing on X Factor UK?

Miley Cyrus Makes Out With A Unicorn

Miley denied rumours she was cheating on Chris with this unicorn

Borgore’s new video, "Decisions", features Miley Cyrus in all her new-haired glory, rocking with porn star Jessie Andrews and shoving her tongue down a unicorn’s muzzle.

I don’t know who Borgore really is. All I know is that he likes cake and dub-step. Anyway, the unicorn mask was apaz Chris Hemsworth so it’s not like she was cheating, really. Maybe she’ll give birth to Australian pony babies?

The beats in the video are dance worthy, even if the lyrics are underwhelming and his voice is boring and he looks too normal to even be an extra in his own video, but whatever. Here it is. Miley’s brush with bestiality. 

An Open Letter To Pussy Riot

Marketing Success: In just two years Pussy Riot will be the biggest band in the world

Dear Pussy Riot,

You are marketing geniuses. In just two years’ time you will have a fan-base to rival Lady Gaga’s. You’ll have book deals, movie deals and interview deals flying towards you faster than Vladimir Putin's henchmen at that cathedral that one time.

It was a good decision to be arrested and I can see big things for you in the future. Already you have the backing of Paul McCartney, Bjork and Madonna, and that’s before you’ve even become super skinny from all your “me” time in those spa camps you’ve now been sent to separately.

Use this time to become better performers.

Don’t worry I think you’ll totes work as a duo instead of a trio. I see bad things in the future of Yekaterina Samutsevich, who was released on appeal after her lawyers successfully argued that she hadn't even managed to take her guitar out of its case before being kicked out of the cathedral.

Lazy bitch.

I see her becoming fat and not what Pussy Riot needs when it goes to Hollywood.

To help you through some dark times ahead, I’ve composed this poem for you. Enjoy. I’ve called it Cunt Uprising

Pussy

Riot

Hunger Strike

Thin

Work out and tip your hair

Stop dressing like boys

Be a lesbian to survive

Hurt

Then write songs about jail and Putin

Call one “Putin a sock in it”

Die Antwoord Just Blew My Mind Out

Black face: Die Antwoord can't be racist, they're South African

Okay, so Die Antwoord. Thoughts? Wait, I don’t care. Let me tell you what I think.

I think this video just raised the game of what musicians should be doing these days. It’s unapologetic, it’s brash, it uses satire to play to stereotypes, it has a fucking Lady Gaga drag queen for fuck sake, and you know how I feel about men dressed as women.

The South-African duo even go as far to blatantly say they should open for lady Gaga. WHICH THEY SO FUCKING SHOULD.

Before I saw this video I was slumping around trying to find a way to get to the kitchen with minimal effort – I decided on rolling – but now it has rejuvenated my day and more importantly has made me want a panther to stop people stealing my fruit.

Hey Fatty Boom Boom got some serious beat, mega hooks and makes me want to black up my face/whole body and rub it in the face of everyone who says it isn’t chic, which it is.

Watch. Enjoy. Be inspired. Get Hard. Orgasm. Blow you load to this…

I have to go. I have a guy on the phone that knows where I can purchase a panther.

Lana Del Rey Is My Soulmate

Soulmates: Lana Del Rey and I both excrete diamonds from our pouting lips

While converting the space under my kitchen sink into a makeshift panic room last night, I realised something completely profound: 

The world is divided into two types of people. Those that "get" Lana Del Rey and those that don't.

I came to this conclusion about life so suddenly that I fell to the floor and crylaughed for three minutes before I stood, had a cleansing shower on super hot scold mode (fire is a great cleanser. Plus "fire cannot kill a dragon" -- Daenerys Targaryen) and found this video waiting for me.

Lana's new single from her upcoming (November 11ish) album Paradise Edition of Born To Die has a whole extra CD to it ( a la Fame Monster) so it's not like you're buying the album again for just one track (a la Good Girl Gone Bad Deluxe Edition).

Anyway this video cemented what I already knew; Del Rey and I are soul mates, in that I too wear feather headdresses while I ride around with leather-clad bears on hogs as I suck the barrel end of their guns for kicks. And that we're both so beautifully broken and jaded and "fucking crazy".

Album Review: The Presets, Pacifica: Fulfilling their promise to tear dance music a new asshole

Pacifica makes me want to crydance on my own in a crowd of heaving bodies

Those who know The Presets are those who love them. The Australian electro-dance disco duo captured the attention of British fans primarily with the release of their second album, “Apocolyspo”, a dark and offbeat opera of dizzying beats and siren-screeching hooks that draw the listener deeper into the album.

Their first album, “Beams”, was the first to lure in fans, with its popping electrics and sultry vocals, bringing to mind Depeche Mode. As the duo themselves aptly put it, they were “tearing dance music a new asshole”.

So with the release of their third album, Pacifica, it’s safe to assume a lot is expected from them. After all, fans have been waiting eagerly for four long years and are no doubt expecting to be blown from the water as with “Apocalypso”. So has it lived up to expectation? Yes, and no.

The great thing about bands that push the boundaries of music is that they’re at their best when you don’t know what is coming and get what you weren’t expecting. If fans were expecting, or even longing for, a re-hash of previous albums, they will surely be disappointed. This album lacks the aggressiveness of Apocolypso and replaces it with subtlety, refined noise, structure and yet more progressiveness, a la marching band drums and counting backwards from 30 (you’ll get it when you listen to “Fast Seconds”). If however, you were hoping to be caught off guard by the album then your expectations will be surely sated. It’s a proverbial trip on a concrete path.

It does not leave you frothing from the mouth, as did Apocolypso, instead it hits a more melancholy and downbeat note, most evident in the trance track “Fall” and soulfully sparse closing track “Fail Epic”.

The whole album leaves a sad residue, that brings to mind a lonely disco, combated only by the surprisingly poppy and optimistic “Promises”.

“Surrender” acts as the climax of the album and is as dance-orientated as the album ever gets, save from the album’s opener and first single “Youth in Trouble”, which is sufficiently throbby.

I didn’t know what to expect from Pacifica, but I am a fan fulfilled. This is the album I didn’t even know I needed until it swallowed me. If they had re-hashed a Frankenstein creation of Beams and Apocolypso I would no doubt have loved it, but it would not have progressed them musically and wouldn’t have led me to the melancholy dance floor upon which I sway this autumn.

The Presents have not only composed an exceptional third album to rival its predecessors, but it seems they know what I want more than I do. For that, I am grateful. 

www.thepresets.com