Shit That Happened This Week

This week was full of stuff, stuff to make you go "huh?"

Well this week was sort of blinded by what happened in The Walking Dead. It put me on a downer, so much so that I spent all of Wednesday lying on my bathroom floor in a state of shock/inebriation. In the end the neighbour below me called the police because apparently I was screaming “Lori!” but I don’t remember.

The second part of this week has been gearing up for two epic things that are going to happen next week. Firstly Lana Del Rey is releasing Born To Die, Paradise Edition. Secondly, Deftones are releasing their seventh studio album, Koi No Yokan, which is Japanese for the sense upon first meeting a person that the two of you are going to fall into love. This excites me greatly. Expect reviews next week.

But firstly, there’s the whole mess of crap that was this week to sort through. This is what you missed if you too were too fucked-up by TWD to fully invest in this week.

Also, Obama won, I think.

Brad Battles The Undead

Joining the hordes of bandwagon jumpers that have clambered onto the popularity of zombies of late, which by the way I predict to be over in about five months, being replaced with a new trend of mermaid stuff (films, music, books, TV, human/fish experimentation), was Brad Pitt, whose trailer for World War Z was released this week. Check it, bitches. 

Gaga Goes Gaga For Sandy

New York made me the fierce bitch I am today, said Gaga

Lady Gaga donated $1m to the American Red Cross for Hurricane Sandy relief fund.
The singer explained that she would be giving the hefty sum to help out her hometown of New York on her Little Monsters social networking site.

“Today I pledge 1 million dollars to New York & The American Red Cross for Hurricane Sandy Relief,” she said. “If it wasn't for NYC: the Lower Eastside, Harlem, the Bronx and Brooklyn, I would not be the woman or artist that I am today.”

"New York is relentless ambition, a drive to succeed, a place where there is a natural pursuit of diversity through compassion. Please accept this gift on behalf of myself, my parents Joe and Cynthia, and my sister Natali; with our deepest gratitude New York for raising us. Thank you for helping me build my spirit. I will now help you rebuild yours."


Alan Moore Sings To Support Occupy Movement

Comic book Writer Alan more, creator of Watchmen and V For Vendetta, which spawned the famous Occupy symbol of the Guy Fawkes mask, has composed a political song in support of the Occupy movement.

The song, The Decline of English Murder, is a ballad that likens the stark economic inequities challenged by Occupy to the work of a killer. It is released by Occupation Records, the musical spin-off from the protest group, which has already collaborated with Radiohead's Thom Yorke and members of Massive Attack, among others.

It’s deep.

It’s real.

It’s emotional.

It’s a little bit The Streets.

“English murder is all over her face”

Moore, 58, is one of the most famous names in modern comics. The bulk of his titles, which include Watchmen From Hell and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, the bulk of which, have been made into Hollywood films of varying quality, many of them in turn disowned by the irascible writer.

Series Dissect: The Walking Dead S03E04 - Killer Within

Spoiler Alert

Killer within will destroy all you think you know about TWD

I have only one word to describe TWD’s fourth episode: CARNAGE.

Total fucking carnage.

Finally, the show has its edge back. It’s TWD equivalent of G.R Martian’s A Storm Of Swords book 2, which if you’ve read will know what I mean. It’s TWD at its best. No one is safe; no one is above getting ripped the fuck up.

Pro:

We open before the credits to a mystery person cutting the gates of the prison and placing a bloody heart at the gates to lure walkers in. Who is it? Why are they doing that, we ask the person/imaginary friend sat next to us?

Pro:

For the first time in this season we see some light heartedness. The group are relaxed and are making plans for the future of the prison. Rick wants to grow crops, but doesn’t want to do it on walker rotted soil, so the boys set about disposing of all the walker bodies out of the prison. Happy Happy.

Con:

These people turn up again. I thought we were over this. But apparently they still want in on the Ricktatorship. But, alas, they are denied. T-Dog gets a line too. He feels that by not letting them in the group they’re as good as killing them. Well done T-Dog, keep it up. More of this and we might actually care about your character.

Pro:

More good news for the group, Hershel is back on his feet and seems to be coping well with being a uni-leg. I’m coming to like that he’s a tough old boot, is Hershel. Still be better dead though.

Con:

Over in Woodbury, Andrea’s vagina falls even deeper for the Gov, who, after such a big deal made about how he never reveals his name to anyone, tells her that it’s Phillip. Important.

Pro:

Michonne inspects the tank they brought in last week and sees the bullet holes and the blood that covers it. She subtly tells the Gov that she suspects them of being bandits.

Pro:

Merle wants to go and look for his brother Daryl, after Andrea tells him the location of Hershel’s farm. He wants Andrea for sexy time. 

Pro:

Merle asks the Gov for permission, but is told that the Gov needs him right where he is in Woodbury. What game is he playing? I’ll tell you what game. Zombie golf, that’s what. Four!

Con:

Andrea tells Michonne she wants them to stay in the village a few more days even though Michonne’s super instincts are telling her that they need to leave.

Pro:

Zombie Attack! Ruining the first smile-fucking between Rick and Lori in a long time, walkers burst in from the gate that was opened before the credits. Gore ensues. Uni-leg and daughter girl manage to get to a safe place for some reason.

Pro:

This happens to T-Dog:

Con:

Carol is still wearing this head wrap. Important:

Pro:

T-Dog throws himself to the walkers to save Carol. He's been bitten and knows he's dead anyway. Bye T-Dog, you were a great... I mean, I will miss... anyway, see ya.

Con:

Carol may have died anyway, as the group find her hideous headscarf on the floor next to a half eaten body. Clearly it didn't repel walkers like potential boyfriends, as was her plan.

Pro:

Rick and the boys struggle through their own security to get back inside the prison to help the rest of the gang.

Pro:

Lori starts to get contractions while on the run from walkers with Carl and Maggie. They hide in a boiler room and Maggie prepares to help Lori give birth. But something is wrong and Lori starts to bleed. Lori knows what the problem is and we now know she had a c-section with Carl. She persuades Maggie to cut the baby out of her even though she knows it will kill her.

Pro:

That leads to a very moving moment between Lori and Carl as they say goodbye. Lori tells Carl to always do the right thing, even though it's so easy to do the wrong thing in this world.

Pro:

Maggie cuts along Lori’s c-section scar and within seconds Lori is dead. Maggie pulls the baby from her. There is a second when we don’t know if the baby is alive or dead, but we hear its cries and we know it’s okay.

Pro:

Carl shoots his dead mother in the head to stop her returning as a walker. This is what TWD is about.

Con:

It turns out the prisoner that Rick left outside for the walkers to kill two episodes back didn’t actually die, and it's revealed he was the one who opened the gate to let the walkers in. He and Rick scuffle for reasons. 

Pro:

Replacement black guy kills his fellow prisoner who let in the walkers and then does this. We like replacement black guy now.

Pro:

Rick is about to look for Lori and Carl when Maggie show up with the baby in her blood covered arms. Sidenote: why is she walking like she just gave birth?

Pro:

Rick knows Lori is dead.

The end.

More of this please, TWD. I need to go and cry now. Bye.

No Doubt Pull “Offensive” Video

No Doubt - Looking Hot by jimihubabua

Whilst casually browsing for a Gwen Stefani picture to pin onto my Gwen Stefani picture of the week board in my bathroom, I came across the horrific discovery that You Tube has pulled the band's new video for their Looking Hot single.

Let me just take a second to get this straight; people have complained about the band’s cowboy and indian themed video because…? Because it was too chic? Too cool? No, because of… DUM DUM DUM (dramatic theme music)...

...RACISM

Seriously?

Now don’t get me wrong, I am against all racism, but in what fucked up, "politically correct" world does this count as racism? Firstly, Ska originated as a form of music bringing together sounds from different cultures and secondly, how on Earth could anybody take this video as any sort of accurate portrayal of history?

Lighten up, world. Aren’t there enough horrors we all have to face, without taking away Gwen in this dress?

Racist? Braids are racist, scientists have recently discovered

The band eventually had no choice but to pull their video from all official platforms, saying: “As a multi-racial band our foundation is built upon both diversity and consideration for other cultures. Our intention with our new video was never to offend, hurt or trivialize Native American people, their culture or their history.”

The statement continued: “Although we consulted with Native American friends and Native American studies experts at the University of California, we realize now that we have offended people. This is of great concern to us and we are removing the video immediately.”

“The music that inspired us when we started the band, and the community of friends, family, and fans that surrounds us was built upon respect, unity and inclusiveness. We sincerely apologize to the Native American community and anyone else offended by this video,” continued the band.

The statement concluded, “Being hurtful to anyone is simply not who we are.”

On the upside I found my Gwen Stefani picture of the week.

Anyway, this being Harsh&Repellent I’ve posted the video for you all to see and judge for yourselves. 

Read Harsh&Repellent's review of their new album Push And Shove 

Horror Short: No Way Out

I had my own No Way Out experience when I had a friend come to stay with me recently for the weekend. He had just gotten back from a year in India and talked of nothing but his trip. For the WHOLE weekend there was No Way Out.

My trauma was way more horrific than this film portrays, so when you watch it, just imagine me as the main guy (a far more interesting protagonist), and my friend as the squid thing (oddly similar in shape).

If you can watch this short in its entirety without wincing then you’re made of some tough stuff, bitches.

Also, is it me, or does an overweight protagonist just invoke less empathy towards the character than if they were hot like Ryan Gosling, for example? Something to ponder this Monday.

Enjoy

Alt –J Win Mercury Prize

Experts think this poster hypnotised Mercury judges in to picking them as winner

So there you have it, the Mercury Prize shoots another obscure band from its vagina straight into the fame stratosphere.

The indie band was nominated for their album “An Awesome Wave”

I like their vibe. What I have gathered is that they’re all blokes from Leeds who like triangles.

Simon Firth, chairman of the Mercury judges hailed the album's "hypnotic quality".

"It's one of those albums that knocks you back when you hear it," he said after the winner was announced.

"It's got a certain hypnotic quality and it's melodically interesting. The way it's constructed is layered – it has digital production but it doesn't sound like a digital record. Mercury has always been about something that sounds fresh."

An Awesome Wave is the thirteenth debut album to win the Mercury prize. The last debut winner the xx, in 2010, have gone on to play packed out tours and headline major festivals.

They’ve been hailed as the next Radiohead. But Radiohead are still Radiohead, aren’t they?

Shit That Happened This Week

News from this week's divertissement happenings

So this week for me was all about worshipping my dark side. I went to see The Rock Horror Picture Show on Halloween, posted an epic short horror fiction story for you and draped myself in black on the Day of the Dead yesterday and told people I could see all their dead relatives burning in Hell.

So it was a fun week.

I know it hasn’t been so fun for a lot of you, especially those in New York, with Sandy from Greece on the rampage or something…?

Anyway, looking to the world of divertissement, here are three things that happened this week.

Star Wars Died Or Something

Darth Micky said it was the role he was born to play

Star Wars creator George Lucas sold LucasFilm to Disney this week for an estimated $4bn and has said that we can expect another Star Wars episode around 2015 with the chance of one being released every few years from then on… forever.

Now, I never really "got" Star Wars, even though I’m a science fiction fan, but this seems to have split fans of the epic story down the middle.

Someone I know said this: “They can’t do worse than George Lucas did with the recent ones. He fucked them up, really.”

So what will Disney do with it, is what everyone is wondering? Episode 7? Cartoon, big-eyed Disney Star Wars characters? Abolish black people, gay jar-jar binks and beards? Who the fuck knows… or cares.

This is what Disney said: “In 2015, we’re planning to release Star Wars Episode 7 – the first feature film under the “Disney-Lucasfilm” brand. That will be followed by Episodes 8 and 9 – and our long-term plan is to release a new Star Wars feature film every two to three years.”

Simon Cowell Is Allergic To Britney Spears

Known as Britneyitus, Cowell said the rare condition has made his face bloat

On Monday Simon Cowell seemed to have had some sort of allergic reaction to Britney Spears while on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

He looked like a sack of potatoes, which has led people to speculate that he may have been over doing it with Botox and filler injections.

When fillers make you look weird instead of younger it’s time to stop. And when Britney Spears causes you to swell like a bloated corpse it’s time to move away, ya'll.

Say what? 

It may be acceptable to look that way in LA, Mr Cowell, but not in the rest of the world. Maybe that’s why he stopped appearing on X Factor UK?

Miley Cyrus Makes Out With A Unicorn

Miley denied rumours she was cheating on Chris with this unicorn

Borgore’s new video, "Decisions", features Miley Cyrus in all her new-haired glory, rocking with porn star Jessie Andrews and shoving her tongue down a unicorn’s muzzle.

I don’t know who Borgore really is. All I know is that he likes cake and dub-step. Anyway, the unicorn mask was apaz Chris Hemsworth so it’s not like she was cheating, really. Maybe she’ll give birth to Australian pony babies?

The beats in the video are dance worthy, even if the lyrics are underwhelming and his voice is boring and he looks too normal to even be an extra in his own video, but whatever. Here it is. Miley’s brush with bestiality.